We Are! Kind of Retarded!

We Are Marshall (McG, 2006) - D

I was SOL on this one from the get-go, since there are few people I'd like to watch for two and a half hours less than Matthew McConaughey and Matthew Fox. And they're both just terrible here, McConaughey trying mightily to create a unique character and coming up with nothing more than hemming, hawing and frantic gestures, and Fox recreating his tortured soul from Lost and calling it a day. As if throwing up its hands in futility, the movie around them abandons all pretense of storytelling and attempts to get by on a constant stream of speeches, heart-to-hearts and dramatic confrontations. It's all so stupid, both scene-by-scene and on a fundamental level: it was never clear to me why the hell the Marshall University football program couldn't "rise from the ashes" by taking a year off to properly reconstitute itself, and thus why all this ado was necessary.

On the bright side, I got to play the Nintendo Wii for the first time before heading out to see this disaster, so I broke even for the day.